A High Fade That Made Me Feel Like Fading From Society

The Plan Was For The Situation To Be Like This

About 10 months ago, I wrote this blogpost: New Barber = Too Short Haircut . It was bad then and little did I think it could get any worse. Almost a year later, I was hoping that I had found a permanent replacement to the barber I've had for years who finally retired. The search goes on...

          First, do you know a good lawyer who specializes in tonsorial litigation? Because I need one and let me tell you why. I haven't had a haircut since December 2012. The barber I found then did me well by shearing the sides of my head short enough to last three months. At the hint of the first mild heat wave this winter season, I called to get an appointment with that female barber. A voicemail was left unanswered so I walked to the barbershop to find it shuttered and out of business. If all their customers were like me and only got a haircut every three months,  then I guess that wouldn't be enough to keep them in business. I then made an appointment with an alternate barbershop but then not a single barber showed up at the time they were supposed to open. I called them later to suggest that they should change their posted opening time to later if nobody can show up on time (and believe me, I waited for 45 minutes). As expected, they hanged up on me. Oops, I guess they just lost a customer.

          By that time, I really wanted my hair shorn badly and searched for another barber nearby. I found one and after working out, I went to the shop and waited a few minutes for him to finish two guys ahead of me. It just so happened that his two sons were running around the shop because he had to babysit them while his wife was at the DMV. When it was my turn, I pointed to one of the pictures on the wall to show what kind of haircut I wanted. The barber asked me if I was ex military because I wanted the sides cut really short. To their parlance, it was a number 1 blade or less. I also asked him to trim about an inch off the top to keep it slightly long. So he proceeded to shave shave here, and a trim trim there, and cut cut everywhere cut cut. In the meantime, he was trying his best to rein in the kids. When he finally turned me around towards the mirror I didn't recognize myself. I was looking at a middle aged man with a buzz cut, looking like a Marine in basic training but 30 years or so too late to qualify. It was the shortest haircut I've ever had since the crew cut in high school which was at my mother's insistence then.

          I felt like asking Phillip (that was the barber's name) if he was mad at me. But we just met! Later, I even had the notion of asking for his barber's license. But in reality, I was just laughing in my head at my own expense for the way I looked. Good thing I'm not trying to be attractive to anyone and that it will grow out in about a year..or two.

Instead It Turned Out Like This!!!

Postscript: I haven't used hair mousse or gel since the mid to  late 80's and I had to buy one just so I can lay my hair flat and somewhat manageable. Otherwise, it would be like having bedhead full time. Maybe the barber was too distracted with his children running around that he unintentionally cut more than intended. I shall give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

I guess it's not so bad from this angle, but I'm biased.

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New Barber = Too Short Haircut

Woke up, got out of bed, combed the hair across my head. Oops, that’s a Beatles song. Anyway, when I woke up last Thursday morning, I made a spur of the moment decision to go to the barber rather than wait another week or so. Because it was unplanned, I didn’t make an appointment. Not that it mattered at this particular barbershop. It seemed like a first come first served establishment.

 They open at 8 a.m. and when I got there at about 8:15, the guy who had given me a haircut the last three times was already busy with a customer and another person was waiting. Pretty soon, a female barber whom I’ve never seen before showed up and motioned me to her chair. I haven’t had a woman cut my hair since 1981when I was new to this country and my aunt took me to her hairdresser. Prior to that in the Philippines, most of my haircuts were done by women after high school but not too often because those were my long hair years. In those days, I only had a trim to snip off the split ends that I got from playing too much tennis under the hot sun.

I’m not real picky nowadays about who cuts my hair after my barber of almost two decades got too expensive for my budget. Besides he was going to retire soon anyway. So I sit on Sylvia’s chair (I got her name before I left) and she asked me what kind of haircut I wanted, and I told her – a high fade, shaved at the sides and slightly long on top. She asked me if I wanted a #1 or #0 blade for the sides of my head, and I said #0. So she starts using the electric razor on the sides of my head and it seemed to be going okay. Then she switched the trimmer adjustment and proceeded to do the top of my head. That was new to me because in the past, the barber would use scissors and a comb to cut that part of my hair. The razor size that Sylvia was using felt a little too short so I told her not to cut the top too short. When all was said and done, my hair appeared okay by the looks of it in the barbershop mirrors. I complimented Sylvia that she got it right the first time and she said to ask for the #8 blade next time. I paid her and went home. Upon further review after seeing my close up in the mirror, I was shocked to see how short the hair was on the top of my head. They were actually spiky! Well, a little too late now. Perhaps a #12 blade would be more to my liking next time. If there was a good thing that came out of this, it is that Sylvia speaks English very well so we can communicate better. The previous guy spoke mostly Spanish and it was harder to tell him how I wanted my hair cut. In the meantime, don’t anybody touch the top of my head because it could be considered a deadly weapon.

Introducing: forehead in widescreen format and spiky hair - no gel required.

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