Minutes following Mama’s passing,
Kuya Vic, Ate Chit, Caloy, Madie, and I gathered around and contemplated our
next move. Vic called La Merced Funeral Parlor to consult with them what to do
next. We then went to La Merced and told the person in charge that we needed to
transfer Mama to their facility. He summoned another worker and they brought a
guerney to their truck and followed us home. There, they transferred Mama on
the guerney and took her back to the funeral parlor with me riding shotgun.
Mama was placed in a room next to the embalming area. I guess they had some
regulation that required them to wait a certain number of hours before they can
start the embalming process. Someone mentioned that it was to make sure there
was no spontaneous resurrection. Caregiver Neneng and helper Andrea arrived at
about 3 a.m. to keep watch over Mama while I went home to contact my supervisor
and rebook my flights. Kuya Vic mentioned earlier that it was important to keep
watch because there have been instances in the past where organs were harvested
illegally. The ubiquitous stray dog(s) was also seen hanging around the funeral
parlor so that was another cause for concern in case their hunger got the
better of them. Sorry about being so morbid here. In the meantime the Pabellons
and Tupazes gathered information on the proper paperwork to fill out and submit
to authorities regarding Mama’s death. Nothing else could be done until after 8
a.m. that morning.
Sending an email to my supervisor
wasn’t a problem. My Cebu Pacific Airlines ticket wasn’t refundable or
rebookable so that was as good as lost. Scouring the Korean Airlines website, I
didn’t find a page which allowed me to rebook. Instead, a message popped up
saying that the Philippine government does not allow online booking for
international flights. I had to find the Manila phone number of Korean Airlines
and promptly gave them a call. Telling them my situation, they were able to
rebook me for Thursday with the same schedule as my Monday flight. Just after
the rebooking was confirmed, the load on my cell phone ran out! Thankfully I
already received the confirmation number, although I was still doubtful. It
wasn’t until a few hours later that I felt reassured, when an email
confirmation with a new eticket arrived.
I returned to La Merced at about 7
a.m. to relieve Neneng while awaiting the arrival of Larry. The other caregiver
– Joanna arrived shortly to join Andrea and I. I was relieved to see Larry walking
down the hallway towards us. Together we went to look at Mama. Quiet prayers
were said, then Mama was taken to the embalming room. Larry and I went to the
office to find out options for visitation rooms and caskets and that was taken
cared of at that time. Caloy and Madie arrived with a government social worker
who came to verify the demise of Mama so that a medical officer could issue a
death certificate. The Pabellons came shortly and together with Larry, we
picked a casket for Mama based on her prior instructions. Then they had to
leave to follow up with more paperwork. Larry said he even had to obtain a
cedula. I added some load to my cell phone at a store across the funeral
parlor, then a chain of text messages was sent around to relatives and friends
regarding Mama’s passing and Uncle Dante and Auntie Lita came by the funeral
parlor to join us.
After the embalming process, Mama
was dressed in the clothes that were chosen two days before, then placed in the
casket. Initially, the workers brought the wrong casket, so we had to show them
the one we picked. Mama was then brought upstairs to an air conditioned
visitation room (only one of two, I think). By afternoon, flowers and visitors
began to trickle in. The chain of text messages had done its job.
We had decided beforehand that the
visitation would only be two days so the burial was scheduled for Wednesday
afternoon. Prayers and masses were arranged, the details of which were pretty
much a blur to me by that time because I hadn’t slept in more than 24 hours. I
just assented to what people were telling me. About 9 p.m., as Ate Chit was
saying something, I felt dizzy and had to excuse myself to go home. As usual, I
didn’t sleep well despite my exhaustion.
I managed to do my walking workout
on Tuesday morning after which I humped it all the way back to La Merced
(running and walking) because I was running late, and I had told Larry
beforehand that I would be back by 8 a.m. to relieve him. I was running low on
pesos but found a money changer nearby which was also a booking agent for
Airphil Express Airlines. That took care of two things at once and saved me
time. Visitors came and went thru late Tuesday evening. I met relatives and
family friends whom I haven’t seen in years or met for the first time, and got
phone calls and text messages from the rest who were not in Zamboanga. Thank
you all for your condolences and offerings of prayers.
I left briefly and went home to get
a small pillow and my earplugs because I planned on staying at La Merced that
night. It was Larry’s turn to get some shuteye at the apartment, but he stayed with us that
night too. So it was Larry, Neneng, Mary Cate, Andrea, Erning’s family (sorry I
forgot your names), and I who stayed overnight with Mama. We secured the visitation room door, barring
the two handles with an umbrella just like Larry did the night before, then
took turns sleeping on the pews.
When I awoke at 5 a.m. Wednesday,
Larry was already up. It was raining outside and I had no raingear. I also only
had one pair of running shoes which I also wore for the rest of the day. I
couldn’t get those wet because I had to wear them for the funeral later that
day, so I mentally prepared myself to missing my first workout in 30 odd years.
Then I started walking in my slide sandals, doing laps around the second floor
of the funeral parlor and pretty soon added the stairs (only one flight though)
until I reached my requisite 30 minutes, then added 2 more for good measure. My
exercise streak lives on! If it was still a running streak, I'm not sure if I
would have been able to continue it since running inside a funeral parlor
seemed inappropriate.
I went home for a quick shower then
returned to La Merced bringing the clothes I brought from the U.S. for this particular purpose. Even though
anticipating the death of a loved one is difficult to think about, and of
course you don’t want it to happen, I still had to be realistic based on
reports I received before travelling back to Zamboanga.
 |
| Prayers led by the Mother Butler group |
Hours passed, relatives and friends
came, a rosary was recited and pretty soon, it was time to transport Mama to
St. Joseph’s Cathedral for the funeral mass. Remember I said I thought I may
not be seeing my Notre Dame classmates again real soon? Well, some of them
showed up that day too. I can’t say much about the funeral mass because it was
another moment of blur for me.
 |
| Funeral Mass at St. Joseph's Cathedral |
The video that our cousin in law took pretty much
portrayed what happened accurately. Thanks again Boni Salinas. I shall post
that video again below. We were transported to Forest Lake Cemetery after the
mass where I saw Papa’s burial site for the first time since I attended his
funeral. I thought that happened 11 years ago and I was grossly mistaken when I
saw his headstone dated 13 years prior. Brief services and blessings were
conducted and Mama’s casket was soon lain on top of Papa’s.
While the workers covered up the
grave, snacks were passed around to the attendees (thanks to Ate Chit for taking care of this). They were purchased from and
delivered by KFC (yes, folks – Kentucky Fried Chicken). Mama would have been
smiling about that blend of Filipino tradition and American commerce.
Goodbye Mama. We Love You Very Much. Thanks For Everything You Have Given Us.
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