Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A High Fade That Made Me Feel Like Fading From Society

The Plan Was For The Situation To Be Like This

About 10 months ago, I wrote this blogpost: New Barber = Too Short Haircut . It was bad then and little did I think it could get any worse. Almost a year later, I was hoping that I had found a permanent replacement to the barber I've had for years who finally retired. The search goes on...
          First, do you know a good lawyer who specializes in tonsorial litigation? Because I need one and let me tell you why. I haven't had a haircut since December 2012. The barber I found then did me well by shearing the sides of my head short enough to last three months. At the hint of the first mild heat wave this winter season, I called to get an appointment with that female barber. A voicemail was left unanswered so I walked to the barbershop to find it shuttered and out of business. If all their customers were like me and only got a haircut every three months,  then I guess that wouldn't be enough to keep them in business. I then made an appointment with an alternate barbershop but then not a single barber showed up at the time they were supposed to open. I called them later to suggest that they should change their posted opening time to later if nobody can show up on time (and believe me, I waited for 45 minutes). As expected, they hanged up on me. Oops, I guess they just lost a customer.

          By that time, I really wanted my hair shorn badly and searched for another barber nearby. I found one and after working out, I went to the shop and waited a few minutes for him to finish two guys ahead of me. It just so happened that his two sons were running around the shop because he had to babysit them while his wife was at the DMV. When it was my turn, I pointed to one of the pictures on the wall to show what kind of haircut I wanted. The barber asked me if I was ex military because I wanted the sides cut really short. To their parlance, it was a number 1 blade or less. I also asked him to trim about an inch off the top to keep it slightly long. So he proceeded to shave shave here, and a trim trim there, and cut cut everywhere cut cut. In the meantime, he was trying his best to rein in the kids. When he finally turned me around towards the mirror I didn't recognize myself. I was looking at a middle aged man with a buzz cut, looking like a Marine in basic training but 30 years or so too late to qualify. It was the shortest haircut I've ever had since the crew cut in high school which was at my mother's insistence then.

          I felt like asking Phillip (that was the barber's name) if he was mad at me. But we just met! Later, I even had the notion of asking for his barber's license. But in reality, I was just laughing in my head at my own expense for the way I looked. Good thing I'm not trying to be attractive to anyone and that it will grow out in about a year..or two.
Instead It Turned Out Like This!!!
Postscript: I haven't used hair mousse or gel since the mid to  late 80's and I had to buy one just so I can lay my hair flat and somewhat manageable. Otherwise, it would be like having bedhead full time. Maybe the barber was too distracted with his children running around that he unintentionally cut more than intended. I shall give him the benefit of the doubt for now.

I guess it's not so bad from this angle, but I'm biased.
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