Sunday - A Fateful Decision Day

Sunday Morning with Mama

After all the visitors left on Saturday night, Larry and I stayed in the hospital until visiting hours were over at 10 p.m. We went back to the apartment and for the first time since 1973 when I was 15 and he was 10, we were roommates again. I was too tired to do anything else so while he tinkered with his newly bought 3G (I’m guessing) internet connection dongle, I went to sleep right away amid 3 chihuahuas yapping away outside. The nightly yapping was going to be the norm for the duration of our stay.

 I woke up at the usual 3 a.m. and just tossed and turned in bed while my brother snored away. Just like the previous day, I was out the door for my workout by 5:30 and this time I was determined to reach Western Mindanao Medical Center (WMMC) by foot. I started walking in the right direction that morning and pretty soon started jogging. The sidewalks are small in this city and sometimes you have to step off due to an electric post blocking the way, but at the same time dodge vehicles on the street in addition to ubiquitous stray dogs and their resultant poop. I made it all the way to the hospital, went upstairs to Mama’s room, saw that she was still asleep and motioned to caregiver Neneng that I would be back later. I powerwalked all the way back to the apartment. So how far was it each way? My best guess based on my walking pace was only about a mile and a quarter. Someone told me the previous night he thought it was about 3 kilometers, which is much less than the 1 1/4^th mile I estimated.

Satti with Larry

When I got back to the apartment, Larry was already up and after I took a shower (actually, a pail and dipper type of shower), we decided to hit the satti place again for breakfast. We left for the hospital right after and when we got there, Mama reminded us that there was a mass in the hospital at 10 a.m. (it didn’t start till 11, more on Filipino time later). We got a call from the Pabellons  informing us of a meeting we should have with the Tupaz Family (Mama’s landlady) at 3 p.m. to make decisions about Mama’s care, since Larry and I were finally there. Those two families have been the go-to people whom Mama relied on in our absence. I reiterate that we cannot thank them enough for taking care of our Mother the past few years and especially the last few months when she started ailing badly.

The meeting was held at the Pabellon residence and it was to plan for the inevitable. What do you ask was the inevitable? Sensitive as the topic was, it was a necessary discussion. What were Mama’s wishes? Where would the wake and visitation be (La Merced) and for how many days (2)? She already had a burial plot, did she also have a memorial plan (yes)? Will she be buried side by side with Papa or on top of him leaving a vacant plot aside (on top)? Finally, are we going to keep her in the hospital and continue treatment for what may or may not be pneumonia with no assurance that powerful antibiotics might help?

The first of Mama’s wishes was already fulfilled the previous night and that was that she, Larry and I were together again. Her second wish was to get discharged from the hospital, and the third being that she not die in pain. Another wish she had was to have a decent casket worth at least close to 100,000 pesos and proper religious rituals and services that she can be proud of. She had already set aside money for that. As usual, Mama had planned way ahead of time. Assignments were given to who was to foresee the prayers, masses, refreshments and other food. Larry was going to check on Mama’s memorial plan coverage, the funeral parlor, and the burial site requirements as well as the funeral mass. I didn’t have anything to contribute because I wasn’t familiar with the ins and outs of Zamboanga City. The final decision to be made was what to do with Mama’s hospitalization. We decided to meet Mama’s wish to go back to her apartment while continuing her maintenance medications and her pain pills (Morphine and Ultram or Tramadol). Out of respect for some people and because of their extreme kindness, I shall not write about the proselytizing which happened afterwards. Although it may help some people, it was just not for me. So sorry about that. So with all the decisions made, Operation Pilar was set in motion.

Nurse checking Mama's vital signs

We returned to the hospital to see Mama and let her know that we were going to ask her doctor to discharge her but not before consulting with the doctor the next day. By the way, the doctor started Mama on Morphine on this day because she was complaining of pain and the Tramadol was not helping much any more.We stayed with Mama until the hospital was ready to kick us out at 10 p.m.

*A side note – I don’t remember if I met the Tupaz family for the first time on Saturday morning or Sunday morning.

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Zamboanga – The First Day: A Day of Two Reunions

I had asked my brother to make reservations for 9 nights at Amil’s Pension House which was directly across the street from our mother’s apartment. I stayed there my first night in Zamboanga but since Mama’s landlady offered a vacant apartment for us to stay in, I moved in the next day. That saved us a few thousand pesos. A few days later, I asked Madie, the landlady if we could settle the accounts for the duration of our stay and she declined payment. Thanks Caloy and Madie, for your generosity and hospitality.

 

The night I stayed at Amil’s, I was awake by 3 a.m. and watched the U.S. Open and when that was over, I tried reading an ebook. Still, I was unable to go back to sleep and couldn’t wait until dawn came so I could go out for a walk or a run. Exiting the hotel in the morning, I turned right. In my disorientation the night before, I thought that led to Veterans Avenue, the street my mom’s hospital was in. After a short block I saw Plaza Pershing. Hmm, I should not be in that area if I wanted to go to the hospital. So I turned around and on the other end of the street, I hit Veterans Avenue. Well, I only made it halfway to the hospital because I was rapidly approaching the time I allotted myself for exercise that morning. So I walked back to the hotel, took a shower and stepped outside looking for Jimmy’s Satti House to satisfy what I was craving for in decades. Well, immediately to my left from the hotel entrance was Morning Sun Satti House so I went there instead. The man there showed me some liver cubes skewered on a stick but I opted for cubed chicken meat instead. I consumed 10 sticks of chicken and 3 tamus (rice cubes) in my first taste of satti since 1989. When I went to pay, it only the equivalent of less than 2 dollars for the meal.

Fifth grade classmate Solomon - owner of Morning Sun Satti

I went back to the hotel to get myself ready to go to the hospital and as I passed Morning Sun, the man I ordered the satti from earlier asked me in the Tausug dialect if I was Noel. Detecting my surprise, he introduced himself as Solomon, a former elementary school classmate in 5^th grade. Of course I remembered who he was because there was only one Solomon who was ever my classmate. We exchanged pleasantries and stories. He also happened to know Mama lived across the street so he asked how she was doing. I told him I was just on my way to visit her at the hospital.

Just then, I received a text message from Famy, a high school batchmate that her husband (an esteemed Jolo judge, no less) was on his way to my location to deliver some durian. So I waited for him before going to the hospital and a few minutes later, he showed up in his SUV with a box on the roof. I was expecting durian in a plastic container that was ready to eat and not 7 whole unopened durian fruits in a huge box on top of a judge’s car! The durian was sent from Jolo by another batchmate, Delia, the previous day. Oh my, my classmates sure know how to welcome me back after having disappeared from them since 1973. The judge was on his way to play tennis so I took the durian and brought it to my mother’s apartment. The hotel did not want the fruit in their premises due to the smell. I took up Mama’s landlady’s offer and moved in to the vacant apartment after checking out from Amil’s Pension House. Then I took a tricycle ride to the hospital to see Mama.

Aside from the nurses, Mama was being cared for by a recently hired caregiver – Neneng, and a helper – Andrea. So they were there attending to her needs when I arrived at the hospital. Mama was not very talkative and was grabbing some shuteye here and there. I told her about meeting Solomon and the durian delivery and how her apartment now smelled of durian, so she won’t be surprised when she went back home. Neneng left shortly (she worked the night shift) and I was left with Andrea who was busy as usual texting with her boyfriend (Mama already informed me of this in our telephone conversations). Well, that’s better than having no helper at all so it was a compromise she was willing to make. Around noontime, I begged my leave from Mama to go to lunch and also told her I was meeting my classmates at Amil’s at 3 p.m. for a small reunion. I walked down Veterans Avenue heading towards where the apartment was, looking for a place to eat. When I reached Pilar Street, I was resigned to having another round of satti. That’s when I saw Fat Belly restaurants’ offering in pictures on their front window. It showed pyanggang, tiula itum, and kulma among the items,  and I felt as if I was in Tausug heaven. I immediately ordered one of my favorite Tausug foods – pyanggang with rice. I polished off the first cup of rice and ordered an extra one. Oh my, was that meal a gustatory delight! And get this, it was a low fat meal to boot. The cost? Less than two and half bucks. I vowed to go back to that restaurant to sample more of their offerings.

I went back to the apartment and tried to take a nap before meeting my classmates. I heard the doorbell ring and looked out the window. In comes Leonard whom I wasn’t expecting. Remember classmate Leonard who visited the U.S. two years ago and whom I toured around Shoreline Village? He just happened to check Facebook and saw that a bunch of classmates were meeting that afternoon and having known Mama’s apartment, took a chance and came to see if I was in. So we talked a little bit but he had to leave. He said he would be back for the reunion at Amil’s.

Just before 3 p.m., I headed to Amil’s and immediately saw a lone female sitting in the hotel’s eatery. It was no other than Mimi. We hugged each other then tried to catch up about goings on in life. The others slowly trickled in – Cecile, Lorna, Nayda, Salma, Dolly, Famy, and Leonard (did I miss anyone?). We left Amil’s and walked a short way downtown to look for a place to eat. Pretty soon we entered Love Life Snack House which specialized in pastil, empanada, and halo halo and that was exactly what we ordered. Incidentally, at least 3 of us in the group were unmarried, thus did not have a love life. I offered to pay for the snacks but my classmates kindly declined. The lot was already funny when communicating on Facebook and were even funnier in real life with their facial expressions. Since I couldn’t carry too much weight in my luggage, I passed around dollar coins to everyone as a souvenir. After the snack, they vowed to see me again before I left Zamboanga.

I went back to Mama’s hospital and saw that the Nono family was back keeping her company. Together we awaited my brother’s arrival from Manila. Well, the airline changed its schedule so Larry didn’t arrive till 8 p.m., about the time I texted him and he responded that he just landed.

Larry came inside Mama’s hospital room shortly and the three of us were finally reunited after thirteen long years. Mama mustered a weak smile when a photo of the three of us was being taken. What was left of Iking’s family was together again.

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