Dabbling in Closet Karaoke

About five years ago, at a very small family gathering, somebody brought what they called a “Magic Microphone”. Although products like it have been out for years, it was the first time I have ever seen one. I was amazed at how it worked with the background music, lyrics and scoring all in one microphone. My initial attempts at singing gave me mediocre scores which is not even worth mentioning here. Its worth mentioning that my only past experience in singing was way back in elementary and high school when the nuns made us sing in the church choir and glee club. Then I sang “House of the Rising Sun” and it was just in my key. If I remember correctly, I scored an 86. From then on, I was hooked! I'm thinking, I have to get one of these things. After shopping around on the internet, I found the same microphone with built in 3000 songs for the price of $325.00 . I ordered it right away and when it arrived I started practicing. That was the first of 3 magic microphone type devices I have bought. I have since sold my first two which were wired, and am now using a wireless one with two microphones which can be used for a duet. The reason why this blog entry is titled this way is because I don't ever sing in public except in small family parties. When I practice, I close all the doors and windows so the neighbors won't hear me. God forbid if I break their glassware, or worse, if they call the cops to complain about me being a public nuisance or disturbing the peace of their ears. I can't bear to have my neighbors suffer so I shut myself in. Hence, I call myself a “closet karaokist”. My neighbors can probably still hear me, but at least its muted. See, I don't sing that well. Sure I get high scores sometimes but that doesn't necessarily mean that I sang a song well. It just means my timing is good. I could probably recite the whole song in a monotone and get a high score if my timing is right. Also, if you know the nuances of the machine, you can sometimes trick it into giving higher scores. How do I know I don't sing well? I have tried recording myself and I cringe at the sound of me during playback. But with a little enhancement: add a little echo here and there and it sounds better. I even have a homemade CD of myself which I recorded on the computer years ago. Sadly, I haven't been practicing the last few months since I bought the Nintendo WII. Needless to say, I won't be ready when its Karaoke time in the next family gathering. Even if I keep on practicing, Paul Potts or Susan Boyle or Adam Lambert I'm not or will ever be, but at least I'm having fun when I'm doing it. They have nothing to fear from me because my voice doesn't soar like theirs. The only thing that soars is the electricity bill when I turn on the air conditioner to muffle the noise that I make.