Time For a Smoke Break

Every morning at work, when the patients start waking up for vital signs, laboratory tests, and blood sugar tests, the staff is inundated by questions and they are usually of this kind: Is it time for smoke break? When is the first smoke break? How long till the next smoke break? Can we have smoke break now? Can we have smoke break early? Can we smoke now? Why can’t we smoke now? Even though the smoke break time signs are posted prominently in the hallway and there is a clock where they can check the time, the patients still barrage us with the same questions day after day, even though some of them have been in the hospital for days or weeks and most of them are repeat customers several times over.

So this morning, after getting somewhat tired of answering the same questions over and over, I printed out a huge sign and taped it in front of my shirt for everyone to see. It said in big bold letters: FIRST SMOKE BREAK IS AT 6:45. It brought a moment of levity and humor to the grouchy, cranky, having a nicotine fit patients we had. They laughed at the sign (hopefully not at me for making a fool of myself). For some reason, the sign worked and the questions soon ceased and for the few that dared ask, I just pointed at my chest. Soon enough a good time were had by all when we stepped out to the patio to have that first smoke break of the day. Me, none the worse for wear for not having to answer their questions often, but stinky from the second hand smoke I had to endure while conducting smoke break. I think I’ll keep the sign for next time.