Sunday, July 4, 2010

Resisting Temptation

Happy Independence Day!
Every once in a while, like Saturday morning, when I’m not feeling any pain on my left ankle, I’m tempted to lace up my running shoes, step out the door and see what happens. I even contemplated running on the treadmill and using my arms to support my weight on the machine’s side rails. This was the first Saturday in awhile that I didn’t set my alarm for 5 a.m. to go out running with the AREC club. I still woke up earlier than the 7 a.m. alarm though, and it gave me a chance to watch Serena Williams win at Wimbledon. The football match between Germany and Argentina was also going on. I watched Germany annihilate the Maradona coached Argentina team 4-0 with such pretty and unselfish passing. All the while, I was riding my upright stationary bike between glances at the newspaper I was reading. Talk about multitasking…
Do you know how much mental effort it takes to resist the temptation of running even with injuries? Like I said on Friday, it takes a rewiring of the brain to get used to idea of not being able to do a 30 year habit. To put it in a slightly different way, I have to wrap my brain around the idea, get used to it, so I can accept it. I’m still in the denial phase. I can only hope that each day that I can resist temptation equals one more day that my body can heal itself. When Dave K. posted the pictures of the runners in Saturday’s AREC run, I felt sad and began to rationalize that maybe I can still participate but slow it down. I could probably run if I wanted to but that could further endanger my left ankle, and since I’m in a self preservation mode right now, it would not be a good idea to even try.
To me, it’s not a matter of giving up but a matter of giving in to the constraints of my ankle tendons. The rest of me still works, so maintaining physical fitness will remain a daily goal. I have yet to find a sport where you can get lost in thought and still get a workout too.
Speaking of cycling, I haven’t ridden a bike since about 1991. All my cycling in recent years have been done on stationary bikes. Does one ever lose the ability to ride one? I certainly know of the expression “it’s like riding a bike” but I’m just wondering if anyone has ever forgotten how to do it. Well, I’ll find out as soon as I can purchase one.
I warned my charge nurse last night that if I show up to work crankier than usual, it’s because I am unable to run anymore.

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