Artsy Farts With Fiber One

Okay, I want to make a preemptive apology for this post because this might fall under the category of TMI (Too Much Information).

Last week there was a 50% off sale on Fiber One Cereal Bars at Ralph’s Supermarket and I bought a few boxes. The product claims it contains 35% daily value of fiber. I could always use some fiber so I ate a couple of bars for dessert after lunch and it had the consistency of rice krispy treats. In other words, very yummy. About 4 hours later, I started to feel rumblings within myself and it didn’t have anything to do with hunger pangs. I must say that these cereal bars should come with a warning label on the box in addition to the ingredients and calories: Eating this may cause you to lose friends and loved ones to avoid you. In short, GAS. More than you can imagine. More than what you thought your body is capable of producing in 4 short hours. If that amount wasn’t bad enough, the aroma was so toxic that you wouldn’t even want to be on the same room with yourself. I could have put a sign on my door to warn passers by: Noxious Fumes Within, Stay At Least 50 Feet Away.

So I got curious. Was it just me or has it happened to others too? I just had to look it up on the internet to find out if other people had similar experiences. I found out that I’m not unique (darn! For not being unique, and thank goodness for not being unique!). Here are just 3 websites that I found addressing the issue: http://www.pleasegodno.com/archives/66-Fiber-One-Bars-make-me-Fart.html , http://www.diet-blog.com/07/fiber_one_oats_and_chocolate_bar_review.php?page=2 , http://www.urbanmonarch.com/fiber-one-chewy-bars-stomach-problems-gas/ . It appears that chicory root extract, the bar’s main ingredient is the culprit. But as far as the efficiency of the amount of fiber? Well, let me just say that it moves things along very nicely, but I’ll try to limit myself to one bar a day because I think I might have OD’d when I had 2 of them the first time.

If you have excellent sphincter control, you can probably shape the sound of what is emanating from your body in such a way that you can consider it art or music, maybe in the form of The William Tell Overture. 

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